Still Love Me
by Passion4Writing1218
Summary: Kristen smiled. “I remember,” she said, as if she was just remembering now; but she laughed in her head, for ever since then, he and their kiss was everything she could think about. How could she have forgotten? ...R&R please!
1. Author's Note

**Hey everyone!**___This is my __very short__ clique story. I wanted to make it short, so I only have __one longish chapter__. _**Please**_ tell me what you think! And, if anyone has any suggestions about who I should write about_ next_, it would be __greatly__ appreciated!! I was thinking _Claire/Cam_…but I'm not sure. So _**please**_ tell me what you think!!!___**Thanks!**

**-passion4writing1218**


	2. Still Love Me

Kristen Gregory couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Derrick Harrington. She saw his shaggy blond hair and his big brown eyes, his face a permanent image engraved in her mind. She pictured them side by side, hand in hand, walking down the beach towards the sunset. He would lean over, whisper in her ear, and she would giggle, and he would lean down and kiss her forehead. They would kiss and then he would pick her up in his arms and carry her down the beach.

Ever since Kristen and Derrick had kissed at a spin the bottle game at one of Massie's parties, Kristen couldn't get Derrick out of her mind. He had haunted her; every time she closed her eyes she saw him.

BEEEEEEEEP! Kristen's alarm clock rang in her ear._ Six o'clock already?_ Kristen thought, rubbing her red, tired eyes. His face was still etched into her mind; and she jabbed the sleep button furiously. After it was silenced, Kristen collapsed on her bed and tried to sleep again. But her attempt was hopeless; trying to sleep was just torturing herself with pictures and dreams of Derrick and herself; she tried to stop them, but it was useless.

Reluctantly, Kristen slid out of bed and pulled on her slippers. She slipped silently into her bathroom. _So fat,_ she declared in her head, as she pulled on her stomach, as if hoping that it would somehow make the extra skin disappear; but it was, again, a useless attempt.

Instead, she turned away from the mirror and pulled on a silver and black striped Ella Moss sweater dress over a pair of silver leggings.

Her cell phone played a quiet song, telling Kristen she had received a text message. She opened up a text from Josh Hotz, her old secret boyfriend. It was another message pleading with her to come back to him. Kristen shut the phone and slid it into her bag. _If only Alicia knew,_ she thought, sighing. _She would die if she knew._ Alicia had been repeatedly reminding everyone that she had a crush on Josh Hotz for months. Kristen knew that if Alicia found out, well… she'd be toast. And becoming toast was not exactly on Kristen's to do list.

* * *

_When do you know you're in love?_ Kristen asked herself as she sat, staring at the ceiling, as Derrick's face continued haunting her mind.

"Hey, Kris," Claire Lyons whispered. "You okay?"

Kristen turned to see Claire leaning towards her from her seat across the aisle. Kristen nodded her head and turned back to the front of the classroom where their French teacher, Ms. Maddy, was teaching a lesson about 'Avoir Expressions".

French was Kristen's favorite subject to study in school. It was so interesting and fun to learn; it was upsetting to Kristen that she couldn't even pay attention to her favorite subject. All she could think about was Derrick.

Kristen glanced at the clock; ten minutes until lunch time. Five minutes until she could forget Derrick in her tight circle of talkative friends. The clock sang its ticking sounds as it slowly approached each number. Kristen tapped her pencil anxiously.

"Kristen, could you give us one?" Ms. Maddy asked. Kristen blushed; she forgot what the lesson was about. "Avoir expression?" Ms. Maddy said when she noticed Kristen's hesitation.

"Oh," Kristen said. "J'ai hâte de aller à la maison?" she stammered quickly. "I think, right?"

"That's correct," Ms. Maddy smiled, and then turned to face Kelsey Donovan. "Kelsey, another one please."

Kristen smiled to herself. _I did it, and I didn't even think about-_ Kristen sighed. She knew she couldn't escape him. She decided to distract herself and started doodling on her notebook paper; but it wasn't long before, when she looked at what she had doodled, she realized they were all hearts and messy scribbles of Derrick's name and her name. Kristen sighed and looked at the clock. The second hand anxiously ticked forward. "Twenty seconds left," she whispered to herself.

The clock ticked on, and Kristen waited anxiously for that bell she knew all to well.

The bell rang and the students filed into the halls and walked towards the cafeteria.

At lunch, Massie, Alicia, Dylan, and Claire jabbered on and on about their teachers and how stupid they were, and their outfits.

"What's up with you, Kris?" Dylan asked with a mouthful of salad.

"Yeah," Massie said. "You've _barely_ uttered a word and you haven't eaten a thing!"

"I'm just, not hungry," Kristen sighed. "You know, I'm going to go take care of this." She picked up her food and headed to the trash can.

After she had thrown away her food, she looked to see if any of her friends were watching her, and when she saw that they weren't, she let herself out and ran to the nurse's office.

_I'm suffering from a mental condition,_ Kristen thought sarcastically. _Love sickness…boy disease…heartbreak…so many possibilities…_

Kristen's footsteps echoed in the empty halls. The emptiness and loneliness was depressing.

Finally, she reached the nurse's office.

"Ms. White?" she asked as she noticed the new nurse's assistant at the desk instead of the regular nurse.

"Yes! Kristen, right? Kristen Gregory?" Ms. White asked.

"Yes," Kristen said.

"What's wrong, dear?" asked Ms. White.

"Well," Kristen said. "Could I just, um, lie down? For a little while? I'm not feeling so good today."

"Why of course!" Ms. White said cheerfully. "The beds are that way, and, don't worry, they're clean. I _just_ wiped them down before you came here."

"Thanks, Ms. White," Kristen said gratefully. She walked over to one of the blue hospital beds and sat down. She breathed in heavily and closed her eyes before lying down. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine sheep jumping over a fence. "One," she counted in a whisper. "Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven…" and then she fell asleep, not a picture of Derrick in her mind.

* * *

"Whoa!" Kristen exclaimed as she bolted upright in bed. She shook her head to clear it, but it didn't work. She had dreamed about Derrick. They had been at the beach, and tanning, and swimming, and kissing…

"What has happened to me?" Kristen gasped. "All I can think or dream about is Derrick!" she threw up her hands in despair.

"That sounds like a problem," said a voice. Kristen turned to face the speaker.

"Derrick?" she asked, confused and embarrassed. "What are you doing here?" she crossed her arms. "I can't believe you heard that," she huffed.

"Don't worry," Derrick laughed. "It's our little secret."

"Who invited you?" Kristen asked him. Although she liked him, she was angry with him, but she wasn't exactly sure why.

"I did," said Ms. White. When Kristen glared at her angrily, she said, "Well, I heard you…in your sleep, talking about him, so I called his school and asked if he could come over here and work things out with you two."

"Ms. White," Kristen said, fake smiling. "What _exactly_ did you hear?"

"That's for us to know, Derrick not to know, yet, and you to find out later," Ms. White said, shaking a finger at the two of them. Then she disappeared.

"So," Kristen said. "This is awkward."

"Tell me about it," Derrick said.

"Can I," Kristen started. "Can I ask you something?" she asked. Derrick nodded. "Why did you come?"

"I got the call, and, well who doesn't want to miss school, right?" he laughed and put up his hand for a high five, but Kristen stared at the floor.

"Right," she sighed, gently tapping his hand with hers. "Really?" she asked softly, looking up at him, her big brown eyes like a sea of chocolate. "Is that the only reason you came?" she asked. Her eyes stung with fresh, hot tears.

"Yes," Derrick replied calmly.

"Derrick, can I ask you something else?" she asked quietly.

"Of course," he replied. "Anything."

"Have you," she said, looking down again. "Have you ever liked somebody so much, that you dream about them, and you think about them all the time? Have you ever liked someone so much that you just start crying for no reason at all, other than that you just want to be with them and they don't want to be with you?" she was almost shouting now, and hot tears were filling her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. "Have you ever liked somebody, so much, that you'd do anything for them? That you cry for no reason? That you can't get them out of your head?" she choked on her words, and then stopped shouting and took deep breaths. When she had calmed down, she looked back up at Derrick, who was sitting in his chair, still as stone, staring at a painting on the wall as if, if he looked away, even for a second, it would disappear. His chocolate brown eyes were moist with new tears of his own, but Kristen couldn't see them; her own eyes blurred her vision.

"Of course not," she sighed. "Of course you haven't. You're a guy! In fact, you're Derrick Harrington! Most popular boy in school! Star goalie of the soccer team! Of course you don't have girly feelings like that!"

Her rampage was over; she sat back down on the bed and stared at Derrick.

"You should go," she whispered. She looked down at her pillow, which was now covered in angry tears.

"No," Derrick said softly, never taking his eyes off of the painting on the wall. "I can stay."

"No, Derrick!" Kristen exclaimed, leaning forward quickly, as if to stop him from staying, as if to push him out. Then she sunk back and lowered her eyes, averting them from his face. "Just go."

Derrick took one last, long look at the painting and then he stood up.

"If that's what you want," he said softly.

"It is," she assured him. He turned to look at her, his eyes finally leaving the painting, and he held her gaze. As Kristen stared into his liquid chocolate eyes, she felt like melting into his arms and kissing him, and asking him what took so long. But she knew she couldn't. She lowered her gaze and stared at the wet pillow. Derrick sighed.

When Kristen raised her head to look at him again, he was gone. She felt new tears sting her eyes. She covered her face with her hands and let the tears come. They slid down her face and landed on the pillow, splattering like needles on the floor; each one having it's own individual impact.

Then she felt light headed and dizzy. She thought back to each meal that she had skipped, and then looked down at her body, and, declaring to herself that she was still fat, she decided her dizziness wasn't because she hadn't eaten that much.

Then she remembered how Derrick had stared at nothing but the painting, and she turned around to see it. The picture was that of a girl, a blond girl with big brown eyes, kissing a boy on the beach. The boy was also a blond, with shaggy hair and brown eyes. The sunset was a beautiful horizon of orange, red, and gold. Kristen choked out a sob and then she lied down, and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"Kristen? Kristen?"

Kristen opened her heavy, tired eyes. Everything was blurry. There were ten blurry shapes swirling around overhead; and each one seemed to be calling out her name.

"Mom?" she asked. Two of the shapes bent over her and then rubbed her cheek, but she felt only one thumb on her cheek. It was her mother's.

"What happened?" Kristen asked in a raspy voice. "Where am I?" Am I still in the nurse's office?"

"No, baby," her mother said softly. "You're in the hospital."

"What? Why?" asked Kristen. It hurt to talk; her throat was dry. "Could I get some water please?"

"Nurse! My daughter needs water!" her mother commanded. "And she needs it now. Right now. As in, get moving! Come on! Chop, chop!"

"Mom," Kristen said, smiling faintly. "I don't need it this second."

"Yes, you do," she said.

"Mom?" Kristen asked. "Who else is here?"

"Massie, Alicia, Dylan, and Claire," her mother replied. "They wanted to see how you were doing."

"Why am I here?" Kristen wondered aloud.

"Oh, Kristen," her mother said. She was about to continue, but she covered her face with her hands, and as she hurried off, Kristen could hear sobs escaping from her.

"Girls, why am I here?" Kristen asked.

All of the eight blurry shapes looked around at each other before Claire finally spoke.

"The doctor said," Claire began, but she hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "The doctor said that you had an eating disorder. Anorexia, I think."

"But, that's crazy," Kristen said, an attempt to laugh failed, and she started coughing. "I've been eating! You've seen me eat, right?"

All of the shapes conferred again.

"I haven't," Alicia said. "I haven't seen you eat your food in, well, months, really."

"Me either," Massie said.

"I've not seen you eating in months," Dylan said.

"I haven't either," Claire said.

"But, that's not possible," Kristen protested. "I do eat, I do!"

"Look at yourself," Massie pointed out. Kristen looked down at herself, but she saw the same thing she'd been seeing for months. She saw a fat body.

"I'm fat," Kristen told them. "Look at me! It's a wonder I still fit into all of my clothes!"

"Kristen," Dylan said carefully. "You're about as fat as a pencil."

"No, I'm not!" Kristen tried. "Look, you guys. I am fat!"

The nurse came in with a cup of water.

"Um, nurse?" Kristen asked. "Everything is blurry, and I think I'm seeing double. Is there anything that can fix that?"

"Yes," said the nurse, handing her the water. "Drink, and sleep. I think it's time for your friends to move along."

"Bye, Kristen," all of the girls said before filing out.

"Bye," she croaked in response. After waving goodbye to everyone, she took the water from the nurse and drank.

"Better?" asked the nurse.

"Not really," Kristen said. She settled into the hospital bed and closed her eyes. Once again, Derrick entered her mind; but this time, she didn't mind it much.

* * *

Kristen awoke in the dead of night, coughing and sputtering. Her stomach was cramped, and it felt like it was twisted in knots. She cried out in pain, but her voice was so low and raspy, no one could hear. She tried to drink some water, but her hands were shaking violently, and as she brought the cup to her mouth, all of the water had already spilled out.

"Help," she pleaded quietly. She couldn't breath; she felt like something had a wrench around her neck, and was tightening it slowly.

_Is this it?_ she asked herself. _Am I going to die right here? Right now?_

"Mom!" she whispered; it hurt to whisper. It hurt to do anything. "Somebody," she pleaded softly. "Somebody help me!"

She writhed in pain, unable to calm herself and unable to deal with it on her own. She needed help.

Suddenly the lights flicked on. It took a few seconds before Kristen's eyes adjusted to the light. When they did, she looked at the shape blocking the doorway.

"Oh!" Kristen said, struggling to stay in one place.

"Don't worry, it's just me," the nurse said. "What's wrong? You look awful!"

Kristen pointed to her stomach and then her throat, and then held up her shaking hands.

"Oh my!" exclaimed the nurse. "Young lady, you need the doctor!" she ran out of the room, leaving Kristen writhing in pain.

Kristen felt like she was dying. She didn't think she would last one more second. She was in the middle of wondering what would happen if she died when the doctor, followed by the nurse, came huffing in.

The doctor remained calm. He took a needle out of his pocket and injected something into Kristen's arm. Kristen wondered what it was, but she was in too much pain to ask.

Then the doctor got to work. Kristen tried to watch what he was doing, but she couldn't focus. The pain was dying down, and Kristen was getting sleepier and sleepier, until she dosed off…

When she awoke, it was morning. She felt hungrier than she had in weeks; and she'd been very hungry the past few weeks. She heard a monotonous beeping, and when she looked over, she realized she was hooked up to a big machine. A big blue machine rumbled and beeped in her ear.

Kristen looked at herself. She had tubes stuck to her and wires all over. _What have I done to myself?_ She wondered.

Suddenly a knock came at the door.

"Come in," Kristen said softly. She didn't bother looking up to see who it was. She heard the footsteps getting closer, and louder, as the visitor approached. She heard the visitor sitting down in the chair next to her, and then she turned to see who it was.

"Derrick Harrington," she sighed.

"What? Were you expecting better?" he grinned. Kristen tried to smile, but it was hard.

"I'm surprised you came," she said softly. "You know, after my meltdown in the nurse's office."

Derrick chuckled softly. "I'm sorry," he said finally. Kristen was stunned.

"For what?" she asked him.

"It's my fault you're here," he said sadly. Kristen's heart felt heavy; he was so cute, she just wanted to run over and hug him, but she _was_ attached to all of those wires.

"Why would you say that?" she asked instead.

"Because," he replied. "It's my fault you had the breakdown and were brought here."

"No it's not," Kristen told him gently. "I'm here because, well, I'm here because I have an eating disorder."

Derrick chuckled.

"What?" Kristen demanded.

"Are you serious?" he grinned. "An eating disorder?"

"It's not so fun from my perspective," Kristen snapped, holding up her wired arm. Derrick stopped smiling.

"You're serious?" he asked. Kristen nodded, rolling her eyes.

"They don't take you to the hospital for meltdowns about your crush, Derrick," Kristen reminded him.

"Right," he said. "That would be more like a mental institution."

"Exactly," Kristen grinned. "I would have gone there, but…" she drifted off, smiling.

"Why don't you eat?" Derrick asked her. "I mean, you were never as insecure as Massie. You always eat in front of guys."

"Let's just say," Kristen said carefully. "That I was in, like, a time of despair, and I wanted to be better. And better, meant, skinnier."

"Mr. Harrington," the nurse said as she walked in with a glass of water. "I think you should go now. Ms. Gregory needs her sleep."

"Okay," Derrick said sadly. He looked at Kristen; and despite the fact she was wearing an ugly hospital robe, and she was hooked up to wires and tubes, and she was pale and sick-looking, she still looked beautiful as she gazed back at him.

"I'll give you kids another five minutes," said the nurse, setting down the cup on Kristen's table. "But I'll be back and then you'll have to leave."

"Will do," Derrick said, watching her as she left, and then turning back to face Kristen. "Hey, look," he said. He took her hand in his, and immediately the beeping noise from the machine sped up. Both of them laughed. "There's something I've wanted to talk to you about, for a while now," he said steadily, and then he paused, waiting for a reply. Kristen nodded her head in response, waiting for him to go on.

"You know that party Massie had?" he asked her. "The one where we played spin the bottle, and, and we, you know, kissed?"

Kristen smiled. "I remember," she said, as if she was just remembering now; but she laughed in her head, for ever since then, he and their kiss was everything she could think about. How could she have forgotten?

"Well," he continued. "I think-"

"You're right, it was a mistake," Kristen sighed. "And I'm sorry I got so worked up and everything. I know you probably like, Alicia, or someone prettier."

"Wait, what?" he asked her. "Alicia? No! I never said it was a mistake!" he smiled at her. "Because, ever since that party, I've been wanting to ask you something, and I think now is as good a time as any." He looked at her, trying to read her face, and she smiled at his attempt.

"Reading people's faces," she said. "Is a skill. And I'm pretty sure you don't have it," she smiled. Derrick smiled as well.

"Well, I tried," he laughed; then he stood up, walked over to Kristen's bed and sat down next to her. "Will you, Kristen Gregory," he said, her hand tightening her grip on his. "Be my girlfriend?" he finished. He gazed into her beautiful brown eyes as if for eternity, and she took her other wired hand, and placed it on top of his.

"I, I," she stammered. "I don't know what to say."

"Then just say yes," Derrick smiled.

"Yes," Kristen said. And just like in her dreams, Derrick leaned down, and he kissed her. The machine's beeps were going extremely fast, and Derrick kissed her forehead before leaning back, and the beeps slowed.

"I love you," he said. "And I have, since the minute I first kissed you."

"I love you too," Kristen replied softly. Derrick smiled with satisfaction, and he kissed her again.

"Derrick," Kristen said softly.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Promise me something?" she asked him, her brown eyes pleading.

"Anything," he said, and brushed his finger on her cheek.

"If I die, promise to still love me?" she asked.

"You're not going to die!" he told her. "Don't be silly!"

"Derrick, I did this all to myself!" Kristen exclaimed. "I never ate, and now I can barely breath; everything I do hurts me!"

"Kristen," he said. "Calm down! These machines will save you!"

"No," Kristen assured him. "It's too late. These machines can only keep me alive for a little bit longer. If anything can, your love will save me." She said, touching his cheek. Derrick laughed.

"That," he laughed. "That's cheesy!"

"I'm serious," Kristen said. "These machines won't keep me for long. So please, Derrick. Please promise me that.

"I will," he promised. "If you die, I promise, I will still love you."

"Good," Kristen said. "Because, if I'm in Heaven, and I'm watching over you, and you don't love me, I'll make sure that one more person won't go to Heaven." Derrick laughed. "I'm serious," Kristen said sternly. "Dead serious. Because I'll be loving you." Derrick hesitated, and Kristen laughed. "Just kidding," she laughed.

The nurse walked in. "Time to go," she said.

"Time to go," Derrick repeated, sighing. He kissed her forehead again, and then stood up. "And Gregory?" he said on his way out.

"Yes, Harrington?" Kristen asked playfully.

"If you die, and don't love me anymore in Heaven," he said. "I'll make sure that one more person doesn't get in." Kristen laughed, and then the nurse lead Derrick to the door.

* * *

"She got here too late," the doctor said sadly. "There's nothing more we can do."

Kristen faintly heard a few escaped sobs, and then her mother was at her side, sobbing, hugging her, and kissing her forehead, tears sliding down her cheeks. She kept saying she loved her.

"Ma'am," the doctor said. "This may not be the best thing for you to see. Maybe you should step outside."

"No!" she screamed. "If my daughter's going to die, I'm darn well not going to stand outside while it happens!"

"Mom," Kristen moaned helplessly. "I, I love you." Mrs. Gregory cried more and hugged her daughter tightly.

"I'm sorry," her mother said. "For everything. For not being there, for, for…" she choked on her tears.

"Don't worry, mom," she said. "You're a wonderful mother. I just didn't realize it, soon enough." This used up all of Kristen's strength. "I love you."

Mrs. Gregory sobbed harder, and then Kristen held her hand, and she closed her eyes.

The beeping slowed down, and then one long, steady beep was heard. Mrs. Gregory covered her face and sneezed into a tissue.

"I'm very sorry, ma'am," the doctor said. "There was nothing we could do."

* * *

Derrick walked through the marble hall, a bouquet of roses in his hands. He sped up slightly as he neared room number 218C. He stopped right outside the door, ran his hand through his hair, and straightened up and walked inside.

He headed past the eleven-year-old bald girl and headed past the curtain, but he stopped abruptly. The bed was empty, all of Kristen's things -the gifts, cards, flowers, and the chocolates- were gone. There was absolutely no evidence of anyone ever being in there.

Derrick heard the nurse coming in to feed the bald girl. She heard him moving, and came around the curtain.

"Excuse me," she said in a heavy English accent. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Um," he said. "The blond girl, the patient in here yesterday, was she moved to rehab? Or another hospital?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, that girl," the nurse said, sighing heavily. "Poor thing, she was, removed, last night."

"Moved where?" Derrick asked, still hoping for the best. He willed himself to believe she wasn't gone. She _was_ alive. She was just moved to another hospital.

"No, dear," she said sadly, shaking her head slowly. "She…she passed. Last night. I'm so sorry." The nurse patted him sorrowfully on the back and then turned back to help the bald girl.

"No, no," Derrick said. He shook his head. "That isn't possible!" she couldn't have died! She was so young! It was just…wrong!

Derrick dropped the flowers and sat down on the bed, tears stinging his eyes. _Don't be a girl!_ he told himself. _Don't cry!_

But he couldn't help it. He wiped the tears from his eyes and lied down. "I still love you," he said softly, sadly, as if Kristen could hear him.

He shook his head slowly. Everything that could have been never even had a chance to begin. And Derrick didn't know how he would survive without her here.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her. He knew she could hear. "I'm so, so sorry." He sighed, shaking his head; and then he let the tears come.


End file.
